Fossil Fuel Executives Set up Go Fund Me After Biden Unveils Climate Plan

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Fossil fuel executives have set up a Go Fund Me to raise money to mount a legal challenge to President Joe Biden’s climate plan. Biden recently unveiled sweeping policy changes that will greatly curb the emissions let off by fossil fuels in a long-shot bid to stop the runaway greenhouse effect the planet is feeling.

Fossil fuel executives were reported to be inconsolable at press time. Some were overheard wailing “how will I be able to buy my fourth yacht if Joe bans fracking?” Others reportedly cradled emotional support gemstones, while some were seen wiping their tears away with reams of $100 bills.

At press time, the executives are accepting donations to help further their lobbying efforts.“It’s just not fair,” one CEO was reported as saying. “All we want to do is suck the blood from the planet until it’s a lifeless corpse so we can make even more money, is that so wrong?”